Trauma Mama.
At first this nomenclature struck me as odd. But I understand it now.
Why would you identify yourself with this most difficult part of your life?
Because you want to find others like yourself.....people who will understand, not judge, know the "lingo". (Funny that most of you - certainly you beloved friends who commented so supportively on my last post - could identify "Dan Hughes" or "Heather Forbes" or "Nancy Thomas" - while the psychiatrist looked at me blankly.) We are specialists, with our area of expertise, and we can and need to communicate with one another about issues that no one around us can understand. Especially because it is those issues that seem to sometimes cut us off from others.
But, why would you be flip about something that threatens not only the soul and future of a person you love, but everyone in your family, the family unit itself, your financial stability, your relationships, your worklife, even your marriage and your sanity? Because laughter and lightness is what keeps you going, that's why! If I couldn't distance myself enough to see the funny side of all of this, to be a tiny bit disrespectful of it all - I might go crazy. In truth. Or do something rash.
I'm with Heather Forbes, "Love Never Fails" - but I think it needs the able assistance of humor. Here's a thesis or dissertation topic for someone -- "Correlation Between Parental Sense of Humor on the Rate of Adoption Disruption Among Attachment Disordered Children".
But, along with humor I think you have to have a circle of people who understand. Thank heaven, thank heaven for you.
A little update:
As things have gotten worse and worse with Miss A. I got more and more determined to get some improvement going. It finally came to my attention that Anastasia will not talk to men. Hence the failures with Billy Kaplan, brilliant Chicago therapist, and Kurt Ellis, gifted attachment therapist in Grand Rapids. Both were amazing, and both helped me, but she wouldn't give them the time of day. So Kurt suggested the Attachment Coalition in Livonia. All women. Wonders have not ceased since I called them. The one who specializes in teens just got a couple of openings. Craig and I go see her tomorrow. And she agreed that it sounded as though Anastasia needed some medication and she recommended a female psychiatrist. Remember the months I waited before being able to see the last psychiatrist? Well, this one had a cancellation today. It took some physical restraints and intercession of the Saints, but we did get her in the car and to this woman, and though she promised she wouldn't talk, she did talk.
We have a diagnosis - PTSD - and we have meds, the prescription being filled at the pharmacy even as I write this. So, I am feeling optimistic.
Granted, the finances have taken quite a hit, since our stellar insurance plan does not cover mental health, but barely (only a psychiatrist and then only 50%). But, it's worth it! I've already tried the dried bean approach to meal planning. It is not going all that well, in fact even I am having some gastrointestinal issues, but I am sure we'll get used to it. And the entire family will benefit from improvement in its most troubled member. As Anastasia herself put it so aptly, "If I'm not happy, nobody's happy." Too true.
At first this nomenclature struck me as odd. But I understand it now.
Why would you identify yourself with this most difficult part of your life?
Because you want to find others like yourself.....people who will understand, not judge, know the "lingo". (Funny that most of you - certainly you beloved friends who commented so supportively on my last post - could identify "Dan Hughes" or "Heather Forbes" or "Nancy Thomas" - while the psychiatrist looked at me blankly.) We are specialists, with our area of expertise, and we can and need to communicate with one another about issues that no one around us can understand. Especially because it is those issues that seem to sometimes cut us off from others.
But, why would you be flip about something that threatens not only the soul and future of a person you love, but everyone in your family, the family unit itself, your financial stability, your relationships, your worklife, even your marriage and your sanity? Because laughter and lightness is what keeps you going, that's why! If I couldn't distance myself enough to see the funny side of all of this, to be a tiny bit disrespectful of it all - I might go crazy. In truth. Or do something rash.
I'm with Heather Forbes, "Love Never Fails" - but I think it needs the able assistance of humor. Here's a thesis or dissertation topic for someone -- "Correlation Between Parental Sense of Humor on the Rate of Adoption Disruption Among Attachment Disordered Children".
But, along with humor I think you have to have a circle of people who understand. Thank heaven, thank heaven for you.
A little update:
As things have gotten worse and worse with Miss A. I got more and more determined to get some improvement going. It finally came to my attention that Anastasia will not talk to men. Hence the failures with Billy Kaplan, brilliant Chicago therapist, and Kurt Ellis, gifted attachment therapist in Grand Rapids. Both were amazing, and both helped me, but she wouldn't give them the time of day. So Kurt suggested the Attachment Coalition in Livonia. All women. Wonders have not ceased since I called them. The one who specializes in teens just got a couple of openings. Craig and I go see her tomorrow. And she agreed that it sounded as though Anastasia needed some medication and she recommended a female psychiatrist. Remember the months I waited before being able to see the last psychiatrist? Well, this one had a cancellation today. It took some physical restraints and intercession of the Saints, but we did get her in the car and to this woman, and though she promised she wouldn't talk, she did talk.
We have a diagnosis - PTSD - and we have meds, the prescription being filled at the pharmacy even as I write this. So, I am feeling optimistic.
Granted, the finances have taken quite a hit, since our stellar insurance plan does not cover mental health, but barely (only a psychiatrist and then only 50%). But, it's worth it! I've already tried the dried bean approach to meal planning. It is not going all that well, in fact even I am having some gastrointestinal issues, but I am sure we'll get used to it. And the entire family will benefit from improvement in its most troubled member. As Anastasia herself put it so aptly, "If I'm not happy, nobody's happy." Too true.
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