SO SAD.....

I took this photograph of my classroom in Summit in August sometime.  I went in [finally!] to sort things out and clean up from the last school year....hoping very much that I might be back.....

But, to my sorrow, the school had to close. 

I had so many happy hours in this room.  I adored my students and I think of them often, with great fondness.  I know where some of them are, but wonder about others. 

The school had "issues" to say the least.  But my middle schoolers got a good education from me, I think.  It was too much, and overwhelming to have taught three classes there while keeping up all the work at my real job.  I undoubtedly didn't do nearly as well with the classes as I would have done had I had more time to devote to it.....I didn't communicate with parents enough, or get papers back quickly enough.  But, I think I brought out the best in each of my students.  I helped them see how they were smart.....and to my mind they were all amazing kids.

I think that is one reason I like teaching.  There is some magic that occurs, wherein I am infused with love for each of my students.  Suddenly, I am their champion, I see all their greatness, I am filled with warmth and fondness.  It is such a great feeling, and it only grows throughout the year.  It is not unlike becoming a parent, and the care of all those souls gives life such richness and meaning. 

So, there is an empy spot where my kiddos were.  And those bright ideas for projects, new ways to practice a skill, new ways to organize, new teaching strategies that leap into my mind - I have to let them all float away, wasted.  There's not a thing I can do with them.

I love the work that I do.  I love being a mom.  There are only so many hours in the day.  That's the reasonable voice talking.  I do NOT need to be teaching English, let alone World History.  But, something in me stamps its feet and cries - "But I WANT to!!!!!!"